R.I.P. to a legend.
Source: MMAJunkie.com
Fuck that, you don't quit...
Sometimes you feel like quitting -- everybody feels like quitting. In life, it's ok to feel like quitting. Just don't quit.
- Rich "Ace" Franklin
My legs hurt. Lungs burning, trying to get some air. Wearing a sweatshirt drenched in my own sweat. 5 more minutes on the elliptical. Shit, I was just on it for 55 minutes, the next 5 should be a piece of cake. Struggling. Slowing down. Push, God damn it. 5...4...3...2...WORKOUT SUMMARY. Shit, I love it when it says that. Slowly get off, legs feel like jello. Small sip of water. Okay, Chris, now go run a mile. Hop on the treadmill. 13 minutes and 30 seconds of hell. Bump some music to keep me going. The first 5 minutes is cake. Legs hurting again. Don't slow down. Looking at my reflection in the window. Look at you; you could barely run 5 minutes a few months ago. How far are you in now? 8 minutes and you're still good, right? Starting to breath heavy. You don't stop and you don't quit. Think about all the people that called you fat. You think this hurts? Think about what Juanita's going through. Think about what your grandpa was going through before he died. Fuck that, you don't quit. Mile finished. Where do you think you're going? You're staying until that thing says 15 minutes. Still running. Starting to slow down. Slowing. Slowing. Push. 14:55...14:56...:14:57. Shit is taking forever. 15:00. Hit the stop button. Gasping for air. Can barely stand, let alone make it back to the locker room. Somehow, I make it back. Good. Now get ready to do it again tomorrow.
Single of the Week - 01/25/09
Another new feature for the blog, highlighting new singles or just songs I like at the moment. Single for this week is "Give It To Me Right" by Melanie Fiona. I heard it on the radio last week and it sounded pretty dope. Enjoy!
Give It To Me Right - Melanie Fiona
Another new layout...
Work has been pretty slow lately, so here's a new layout. The brief artistic layout didn't really mesh well with my personality; I guess I just got it because it looked cool. The iPhone layout was retired because I wasn't doing very much blogging from my phone anymore. This layout is nice and a lot simpler. Now, on to do more blog maintenance, like going back and labeling all my posts.
Edit: Also added a calendar and a tab at the top for viewing my blog on mobile web browsers. Also added links to MySpace and LinkedIn profiles.
- Chris
Chris's Bookmarks - Submissions101.com
I'm debuting a new feature today called "Chris's Bookmarks," where I'll highlight one of my favorite websites or a website that I visit quite often. Today's bookmark is Submissions101.com.
Those who know me know that I'm a huge MMA fan. One of the aspects of MMA that I like the most is the grappling aspect. For the casual MMA fans and those new to MMA, things start to get confusing when the fight hits the mat. When I started out watching MMA and getting into it, I had no idea what the "guard" was or what a guillotine choke was. Submissions101 helps to alleviate some of the confusion and break down techniques for those who practice BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) or for the spectators who want to understand the ground game a little more.
Run by Ari Bolden, a purple belt under Eddie Bravo and the 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu system, the site hosts instructional videos and hosts a YouTube channel with a large selection of submissions. In each video, Ari or a guest instructor will explain the submission, how to execute it, and explain what area the submission attacks. Each video is very detailed and submissions are often shown from multiple angles, to show the viewer exactly how to perform it. The site also sells instructional DVDs and other merchandise, including rash guards.
All in all, Submissions101.com is a great site with a great user community for those interested in grappling. So if you're curious on how to put on the triangle choke or curious as to what the hell a gogoplata is, head on over to Submissions101 and browse around.
A reminder to myself...
I don't believe there is pleasure in life; I believe that there is only a relief of pain.
- Georges St. Pierre
All the hard work you put in and all the bullshit you go through, remember why you're doing it...
To Ong Ngoai,
It's been 49 days since my grandfather passed away. It is a Vietnamese custom to wear a white bandana during the funeral ceremony to signify our grief. After 49 days, it is custom to take those white bandanas and burn them. My mom, my grandmother, and my sisters went to my grandfather's grave and burned the bandanas today.
I don't really show it, but my grandfather's death still hurts. The sad thing is, I wasn't very close with my Ong Ngoai (maternal grandfather). A week before his funeral, my mom asked me if I wanted to say something about my grandfather, sort of a mini-eulogy on behalf of the grandchildren. I couldn't; I had nothing to say. The memories I have of my grandfather consist of him taking me and Tina to McDonald's for breakfast before school. That was years ago, before the seemingly endless hustle and bustle of school and work took over my life.
When I had heard he went to the hospital, I was mildly concerned, but thought it was probably like the other times before; something happened, and he would be in and out the same day. Not this time. He had a stroke which left his pretty much paralyzed. The first time I saw him in the bed at the ER, he was so drugged out, I didn't even know if he was still alive. I was in and out of the ER for a week. Things took a turn for the worse; the doctors were going to do a procedure, but were afraid that if they did it, his heart wouldn't be able to take it. I remember the day they were going to take him off the medication so he would be alert and the family could say good-bye. Christine picked me up from work and drove me to the ER. I came into his room and stood next to his bed. My mom was telling him I was there and I'll never forget the way he looked at me. His eyes were half open, and I can see his eyes moving towards me. I think he sort of panicked because he tried to move and couldn't, not realizing what the stroke had done to him. Seeing my grandfather like that was one of the hardest I ever had to do. My mom was trying to calm him down. I couldn't take it anymore. I silently said good-bye and walked out with tears rolling down my face. I put the hood over my head so none of the nurses could see me cry. When I opened up the double doors to where my family and Christine were, I kept my head down and walked right past them, trying not to let them see me cry, but it was too much. I stood there in the hallway and let it all out. After that, I never came back to the hospital.
On November 28, 2008, the nurses came in to roll him in his bed. My uncle had left the room and my mom was coming from the cafeteria. Sometime within those 10 minutes, he died. Alone. My mom took it the hardest; she was there every day and every night for 2 weeks and, when he died, she wasn't there. When I heard he passed away, I didn't let myself cry right away. I had to be strong, for my mom. I never said anything and I kept it all inside.
On the day of the funeral, I tried to be strong for everyone in my family. But as soon as the white bandana touched my forehead, I started to cry. I knew what it meant -- he was really gone. I collected myself and came up to the casket with my family to pay our respects. After I said good-bye one more time, the tears came back. I tried to cover my face so no one could see, but it was no use. The next day during the procession to the crematorium, I was outside with my cousins while my father and my uncle brought the casket to the oven. When the casket was inserted, my Uncle Trung, my grandfather's eldest son, pushed the button. Outside, I saw my aunts and my grandmother crying and I couldn't hold it in. I wanted so bad to wipe the tears from my eyes, but I had no free hands. I stood there crying.
I've only been to my grandfather's grave once. I guess not much has changed, since work still keeps me from seeing my grandfather. It's sad now to think that the most recent memory I have of my grandfather is of his funeral. But I'll always remember the times we did spend together. And though I never said it out loud, I'll always miss you and I'll always love you, Ong Ngoai.
Love,
Chris
Update
*this post was done throughout the workday*
I realized I haven't posted for awhile, so I'm taking advantage of the temporary lull at work. I said when I restarted this blog that I would post more, but that apparently wasn't the case. I'll try to show some more love in the future.
Of course, 2009 is well underway. So far, not so bad. 2008 had it's share of ups and downs. The first half of 2008 was great; easy semester, graduated from school, and had blast during the summer. The second half, not so much. The stress of a new job, along with the news of Juanita's cancer and the death of my grandfather, kind of threw off the last half of 2008 for me. Looking forward to 2009 being more positive.
I was lucky to get a new job before the economy really took a turn for the worse. Unfortunately, it's not really something I was planning on doing. But beggars can't be choosers, right? There are good days and bad days. It's hard when I look around and think that I'm not making use of the knowledge I've accumulated at school for the past 6 years of my life. The pay is decent, but unfortunately, I don't see too much of it come back, with taxes and 401k taking out a huge chunk every 2 weeks.
My diet is going well. I've lost 49 pounds since September. I originally lost 51 pounds, but gained about 2 back last week. It's funny how everything's fine and dandy when you're losing the weight, but you gain a little bit back and, all of a sudden, you're in panic mode.
Christine and I are doing well. It's hard to believe that we've been together now for almost 4 years. The time sure does fly. We've both grown up so much in the time we've been together. For me, it feels like I've become more mature. Instead of thinking and worrying about myself, my focus has shifted into our relationship and how the things that I do will affect us, and not just me. She is what keeps me going. There are days when I just want to quit my job or give up on my diet and just not care about anything, but then I think about her and I remember why I'm doing all these things and why I have to do all these things: because I love her.
So there's my little update. Hopefully, it won't be too long until I'm back here.
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