My life in the past few weeks has been extremely crazy. Between work, working out, and Christine, I haven't had time to really stop and relax. The other night, I fell asleep as soon as I put my head on my pillow, which has never happened to me before. It's nice; dreaming of getting away, taking indefinite vacations with Christine and just not having to worry about anything. Unfortunately, I really don't get enough sleep.
For the longest time, I've kind of been in denial about how bad the economy is. I always thought that if I didn't hear it, it'd fix itself and go away. But lately, I've been feeling the effects, not so much with my bank account or whatever, but just the constant need to have to save. My parents' jobs are in jeopardy again; nothing new. It seems like we go through this cycle every few years. The difference this time is that I'm actually making some money so I have to support the family in case something ever does happen.
I feel like I need an escape. Somewhere I can just go when I don't wanna deal with all this shit anymore. I need an outlet for all these feelings. Granted, the gym helps with stress a little, but doing the same workouts every other day is so monotonous. I checked out a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) gym out with Vince the other night and wanted to join so bad. But I know that I can't because I have all these responsibilities at home and to have to save for the future. Some people might ask why I would even want to join a BJJ gym. It's just something I've always been interested in as a sport. Other people like football, baseball, basketball; I like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's just kinda depressing to know that because of everything I have going on, I can't really do what I want. I don't feel free.
I feel like I'm gonna explode. Like I have all this inside of me that I just need to let go. Because doing the same thing every single day, every single week is getting to me and the more I take the time to realize what's going on around me, I realize that I'm really...
...not happy.
Letting it all out
Single of the week - 2/15/09
Looks like I skipped a week, but this week's selection is an oldie, but a goodie.
You Are My Lady - Freddie Jackson
My Weight Loss progress so far
It's been many many weeks since I've started my diet and, as you can see, I'm losing a good amount of weight. There are a few quibbles in there, times where I haven't lost so much or times where I've actually gained, but, for the most part, I'm losing.
It's been increasingly difficult over the last 5 or so months to really change my old habits and try to be healthier. I'm used to it now since I've been doing it for awhile, but trust me, it was rough in the beginning. Being on this diet has taught me to live cleaner; no more junk food, fast food, no more drinking (well, maybe a light beer every now and then). It's been a positive experience, but it's not without it's hardships. There are days where I just REALLY hate going to the gym. If it were up to me, I'd give myself multiple days off, but having to record my weight every week keeps me self-conscious and, thus, forces me to go workout.
But once I'm there, it's pretty easy to stay motivated. I just think about why I'm doing this: my health. Both sides of my family don't have great track records when it comes to medical history; high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. Being overweight makes me more of a risk for these diseases.
I had never really thought about how big I actually was before I started. I try not to pay attention to my BMI because I hear it's not an accurate depiction of someone's fitness and health profile, but my BMI when I started was 40. That's high. I've managed to work my way down to around a 31 or 32. Still considered "obese" by the BMI, though I don't feel like I am. I feel better than ever, yet the BMI says my "healthy weight is 177. If that's true, I got a long way to go. All I know is, I'm just going to keep going until my body tells me it's had enough and is comfortable with where it's at, which I'm hoping is around the 190-200 range. We shall see, though. I'll continue to keep everyone updated.
Before & After:
Single of the Week - 02/01/09
This week's single you may recognize from the new Geico commercials. It's a remake of "Somebody's Watching Me" remixed by Mysto and Pizzi. Check out their video blog on their YouTube channel: Mysto and Pizzi.
Geico- Somebodys Watching Me - Geico
